What Gardening Has Taught Me About Personal Growth and Counseling

I can’t remember exactly when or really why, but at some point about four years ago, I found myself strolling the aisles of a local garden center, admiring the lushness of the plants and the vivid displays of flowers heavy with blooms. Before that, I never thought of myself as a “plant guy” much less a tender of multiple gardens. Now, four years later, it is fair to say I have become that guy and then some.

Season after season, I’ve plunged my hands into the dirt, worked my gardens and tended my plants, admiring them with a sense of awe as they evolve, struggle and collapse, and then almost miraculously, return stronger and more colorful than previous years. When I reflect on what seems like a minor miracle, I realize gardening is not all that mysterious. More than anything else, sustained growth is built upon a foundation of patience, trust, and knowledge.

While growth can be encouraged, it cannot be forced. Flowers and plants (just like people) do not appreciate unreasonable demands. To establish themselves and sustain momentum year after year, plants need patience and time. That being said, there is a big difference between being patient and becoming complacent. Patience is all about setting realistic goals, working the plan, and then (to some degree) getting out of the way and letting plants do what comes naturally to them. Again, just like people. So why is trust a necessary component of change and growth?  

Trust is all about relationships. My plants trust me to treat them with respect, care, and dignity and I trust they will respond in kind. I have also learned (after many, many failed plant experiments, sunburns, and bug bites) that successful growth is a process. When I embrace the cycles of change and remain mindful of this process, I become more grounded and tend to freak out less when some plants inevitably wilt or die. Besides, they often come back from what seems like impossible odds! Trusting the process part is an invaluable part of the counseling relationship, as well. Without trust between counselor and client, or respect for the process of counseling, progress will be slow and potentially fruitless. Lastly, we come to knowledge.

This might be the most important piece because it can be applied to everything else. Each year I learn and each year I grow as a gardener, counselor, and a human on my journey through life. I have setbacks, false starts and stops, embarrassing moments and times of crisis and it all “goes into the pot.”

Over time, I have learned that type of knowledge, educational knowledge or knowledge of wisdom, cannot be undervalued. Yet knowledge can also be very personal. Knowing one’s self, valuing one’s unique values and boundaries, and gaining new perspectives on what we want and don’t want, that type of learning is a foundational component of growth and counseling.

Now, as my gardens struggle through the brutal Texas heat, I am preparing myself for them to go dormant. I am watching them wilt and scorch in the sun. But I am taking everything I’ve learned in the last four years and trusting they will be back stronger, brighter, and heartier come spring. And more and more I am discovering that people are a lot like gardens. Give them a chance, the right conditions, and some knowledge, and then stand back and watch them thrive.